10 Secrets of a Well-Balanced Caregiver

by Gail M. Samaha

While there is some small comfort in knowing that the pressures you feel are shared by many others, the bottom line to this very personal matter is simple: finding the time and services that can help make your life and the lives of your aging parents a little easier. As you care for your elder (either living with you or still in their own home); find the balance you need each day to continue to provide great care for your loved one and yourself.

1. Plan for winter safety

This is a time when caregivers' concerns accelerate as their loved ones are negotiating the challenges of another winter. Consider doing the following:

• Fall prevention – inside and out. Remove scatter rugs and secure handrails at all entrances of the house.
• Be sure your elderly parents have the proper snow shoes or boots when walking outside.
• Arrange for snow removal of driveway, walkway and don't forget the mailbox that's located away from the house.
• Adequate heating – you can arrrange for automatic delivery of heating oil (elders have priority for reinstatement of electricity if the power goes out).
• If your elderly parent is still driving, check to see if the car is set with an overall winter protection (e.g. oil change, tires, battery, blankets, water, AAA membership). It is also a good time to reassess if your aging parent should still be driving.

2. Ensure emotional well-being

The first of the year is when the blues are very prevalent with the let down of the holiday as the family returns home, sunshine is rare in many places and getting out every day can be a challenge. You can help your parents by:

• Making sure they're getting some exercise (walking in a mall, neighborhood, exercises at a local senior center.)
• Checking B-12 (if low, it could impact memory), Vitamin D, and thyroid levels.
• Scheduling a weekly event they can look forward to (a movie, dinner out, or a visit by you or a friend).

3. Plan ahead for doctors' appointments

If you're unable to assist your loved one, make arrangements with a sibling, friend, aide or neighbor. Afterwards, have them communicate to you the doctors' feedback and next steps. Some communities have transportation services for the elderly. Check with your Area Agency on Aging.

4. Ask for help when you need it

Know that you don't have to do it all. -- whether it's taking your loved one to a doctor's appointment, concerned about what to do next or just feeling overwhelmed. Know there are many resources to support your care-giving needs through websites, books and groups.

5. Seek family support

Maintaining open communications with immediate family members and siblings gives you a chance to ask for help with various tasks. Plan a weekly check-in with friends and relatives to update them on your elderly parents condition (AgingCare has a new online tool to help you accomplish this) and get the help you need, reducing your care-giving workload and alleviating some stress.

6. Reassess your elderly parent's situation

This is a good time to take an inventory of their overall health, financial picture, and living needs. Now is the time to begin compiling a to-do list to be implemented over a period of time. Medical information should include your loved one's health conditions, prescriptions and their doctor's names and contact numbers. A financial list should contain property ownership and debts, income and expenses, and bank account and credit card information. You should also have access to all of your parent(s) vital documents that could include their will, power of attorney, birth certificate, social security number, insurance policies, deed to their home, and driver's license.

7. Hire an elder care professional

First and foremost, always remember why you are assisting your parent(s) and know that you are doing the best that you know how by providing your love, patience and support. Don't be afraid to ask for help, as it may be time to contact an elder care consultant who will make caregiving easier for you. An elder care consultant will provide tools and resources to develop a personal plan that outlines manageable next steps to ensure the best possible care. Be certain to look for an elder care consultant who partners with an extensive group of trusted advisors (geriatric care managers, home care specialists, living facility directors, visiting nurses, financial planners and elder law attorneys) to provide you with comprehensive planning solutions and services well beyond your loved one's medical needs -- as well as peace of mind.

8. Schedule fun time for yourself on a regular basis

You need something to look forward to – whether it's time with a good friend or spouse, a weekend away, a family game night or just being alone.

9. Take good care of yourself

Before anyone else, you need to take care of yourself first. Eat well; get some exercise; get enough sleep; and be sure you're also getting your annual physicals. It's not an indulgence – it's a necessity!

10. Let go of the caregiver guilt

There's no room or energy for any guilt. You're no longer a child but an adult trying to care for an aging parent while still trying to have your own life. Remember, your parent was able to live their life and it is okay to want to do the same. Know that you're doing the best you can in caring for them.

Original Article Found Here http://bit.ly/2sFWgGn

Gail M. Samaha is the founder of GMS Associates. She is a successful management consultant who from her own personal experience along with her background as a hospice volunteer and 30 years of business management, created an elder care planning division for elders and caregivers and trusted advisors.

10 Signs of Caregiver Stress and 14 Strategies To Help

10 Signs of Caregiver Stress

BY MARLO SOLLITTO

The demands on a person who is taking care of elderly parents result in a great deal of stress. If caregivers aren't careful, they jeopardize their own health and well-being.

A study of family caregivers found that those who experience care-giving related stress have a 63% higher mortality rate than non-caregivers of the same age. There are several reasons why stress occurs, such as working too much, not sleeping enough, having to deal with family and work at the same time, and not having as many hours in the day as you need to take care of yourself.

Remember you can't care for your loved one if you are ill yourself. The first step in dealing with caregiver stress is to recognize the signs. Then, you can find ways to deal with it and enlist support or medical help when needed.

10 Signs of Caregiver Stress

1. Depression. Symptoms include constant sadness, feelings of hopelessness and increased crying.
2. Withdrawal. This can occur if you are depressed. You may not wish to see family and friends. You may stop taking part in things you used to enjoy.
3. Anxiety. You may feel anxious to get things done or you may feel that you don't have enough time, or about facing another day and what the future holds.
4. Anger. You may start yelling at your loved one more, or have difficulty controlling your temper with other people. Caregivers often become angry at their loved one because they are sacrificing their own lives to care for them. Feeling angry at family members for not helping is also common.
5. Loss of concentration. You are constantly thinking about your loved one and everything that you need to do. As a result, you have difficulty concentrating at home or at work.
6. Changes in eating habits. This results in weight gain or loss, as well as increased illness.
7. Insomnia. You may feel tired, but cannot sleep. Or, you may not feel tired even if your body is tired. You also may wake up in the middle of the night or have nightmares and stressful dreams.
8. Exhaustion. If you frequently wake up feeling you can't get out of bed despite a good night's sleep, you're in distress.
9. Drinking or smoking. You may find that you are drinking or smoking more. Or, you start drinking or smoking when you haven't in the past.
10. Health problems. You may catch colds or the flu more often than usual. This is particularly common in caregivers who do not take care of themselves, by not eating properly and exercising.

14 Strategies for Controlling Your Stress

1. Use respite and healthcare resources available to you. Taking a break, and ensuring your loved one is well cared for is one of the best ways to reduce stress.
2. If you need financial help, don't be afraid to ask family members to contribute their fair share.
3. Say "no" to requests that are draining and stressful, such as hosting holiday meals.
4. Forgive yourself for your imperfections. There is no such thing as a "perfect" caregiver.
5. Identify what you can and cannot change. You may not be able to change someone else's behavior, but you can change the way that you react to it.
6. Set realistic goals. Break large tasks into smaller steps that you can do one at a time.
7. Prioritize, make lists, and establish a daily routine.
8. Keep in touch with family and friends and make time for yourself.
9. Join a support group for caregivers. If your loved one has a particular affliction, such as Alzheimer's or dementia, look for a support group targeted at that disease.
10. Make time to be physically active on most days, even if it's a short walk. Eat a healthy well-balanced diet and get enough sleep.
11. See your doctor regularly for checkups.
12. Keep your sense of humor and practice positive thinking.
13. Find out about care-giving resources in your community. Your Area Agency on Aging is a great, free resource.
14. If you work outside the home, consider taking a break from your job. Employees covered under the federal Family and Medical Leave Act may be able to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave per year to care for relatives.

Original Article Found Here

http://bit.ly/2sFRyYY

#emotionalwellbeing #caregiverstress #caringforelderly 

Book by Author Dianne Kube - The First and Last Thanksgiving

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About the Author

Dianne Kube

Dianne Kube, a special events and political consultant, has been on the front lines of presidential campaigns and is no stranger to Capitol Hill. Prior to her current role, with an extensive background in medical administration, Dianne advanced in her career over numerous years to eventually become the Chief Administrative Officer of a grassroots organization representing community-based cancer centers and their patients across the United States. She and a team of medical oncology professionals worked directly with Congressional Members of both political parties to develop policy changes for the Medicare Modernization Act (MMA), with the goal of protecting the quality and affordability of cancer care for all patients. Dianne has authored briefings, presentations and speeches as well as given testimony before state and federal legislatures on various healthcare policy issues. Her work also led to participation in the international healthcare arena when she was asked to join a Congressional Delegation traveling to Eastern Europe to ascertain the continued healthcare needs of citizens affected by the fallout from the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant Accident, for the 20th anniversary of the occurrence. Dianne has also been a sought after speaker at numerous academic, legislative and medical industry forums in the United States and in Europe. She is the mother of two accomplished daughters, the mother-in-law to two equally-accomplished sons-in-law, and enjoys every opportunity available to spend time with her five grandchildren. When not working or traveling she and her husband enjoy a full life living on the Chesapeake Bay.